return my video game
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
