when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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