if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
