I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
