I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
