did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
