I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize