I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
