drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
