Me. At least after what I've been through.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
