did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize