I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
