she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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