Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
