dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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