I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize