i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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