Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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