When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
