Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
