it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
