guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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