Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
