I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
