i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
