I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
