remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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