but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
