Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
