I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
