Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
