Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
