oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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