I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
