I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
