My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
