I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
