Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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