You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
