I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I forgot how hot balto sounded
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
