The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
