k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
