my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
