it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
