Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
