5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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