I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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