I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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