I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize