i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
