? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
