i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
