I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
