DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
How does one acquire holy water?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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