i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
