you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
