i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize