Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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