Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
